Dissociation is something many people experience, even if they don’t realize it. At its mildest, it can look like simply daydreaming or zoning out, such as when you’re driving home, and when you get there, you barely remember the drive. These moments are usually harmless and temporary. However, dissociation can also be much more intense.

In moderate cases of dissociation, a person may feel detached from their emotions or surroundings. They may describe feeling numb, unreal or disconnected. These feelings are known as:

• Depersonalization — Feeling separate from yourself
• Derealization — Feeling like the world isn’t real

In more severe situations, dissociation may involve memory loss, gaps in time or disruption in identity. These cases are often tied to chronic or severe trauma and include dissociative disorders such as:

• Depersonalization/derealization disorder
• Dissociative amnesia
• Dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder

Dissociation is more common than you may think. Around 75% of people will experience at least one episode of depersonalization or derealization in their lifetime, while around 2% may live with chronic dissociation.

If someone you care about experiences dissociation, it can feel confusing or even scary. The good news is that there are practical, supportive ways you can help.

Causes of dissociation

Dissociation is often a coping mechanism that develops in response to overwhelming stress or trauma. When someone experiences something intensely frightening, painful or confusing, their mind may try to protect them by creating a sense of detachment. This can be a survival response in the moment, but if these patterns continue, they can become more ingrained.

Some causes of dissociation include:

Trauma

Trauma is the most significant factor in dissociation. Childhood physical, emotional or sexual abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence or experiencing other traumatic events can significantly increase the likelihood of developing dissociative symptoms. The brain learns that detaching is a way to survive, so it continues to use this defense even when the danger has passed. 

Chronic stress

Ongoing high levels of stress, even without a specific traumatic event, can contribute to dissociation. This may include stressful living situations, difficult relationships or demanding work environments. The constant state of being on edge can lead the mind to seek an escape. 

Mental health conditions

Dissociation is frequently a symptom of other mental health conditions, often serving as a key coping strategy within these disorders.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

With PTSD, a person’s brain may reenact the detachment from the original trauma, causing them to feel disconnected during a flashback or when confronted with a trigger. 

Anxiety disorders and panic attacks

People with an anxiety disorder or panic attacks may dissociate as a way to escape the overwhelming physical and mental sensations of panic. 

Major depressive disorder

Dissociation can also be a feature of major depressive disorder, where it may manifest as a feeling of emotional numbness or a sense of unreality.

Eating disorders

For those with eating disorders, dissociation can be a way to detach from feelings of hunger or the physical discomfort of bingeing and purging. 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

It’s also been linked to OCD, as a way to mentally escape from the intrusive thoughts or the stress of compulsions. 

Early life experiences

Disruptive or chaotic early childhood experiences can also play a role in the development of dissociative tendencies. When a child’s environment is unstable and their emotional needs are not met, their brain may not develop the proper tools for emotional regulation, making them more susceptible to dissociation later in life.

It’s essential to remember that dissociation isn’t a sign of weakness or something to be ashamed of. It’s a complex response to difficult experiences.

10 grounding techniques to help someone who is dissociating

Grounding techniques are strategies that can help someone who is dissociating reconnect with the present moment and their physical body. Here are effective techniques you can use to help someone who is dissociating:

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique.

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple yet powerful technique that engages all of their senses. Ask the person to:

• Name five things they can see around them.
• Name four things they can touch or feel.
• Name three things they can hear.
• Name two things they can smell.
• Name one thing they can taste.

Move around.

Physical movement can help bring someone back to their body. Encourage them to:

• Walk in place or take a few steps if it’s safe to do so.
• Stomp their feet firmly on the ground.
• Stretch their arms and legs.
• Do some gentle jumping jacks if appropriate.

If none of these options are feasible, you can ask them to wiggle their toes and fingers. 

Use cold sensations.

The intense physical sensation of cold can be a very grounding experience. You can offer them an ice cube to hold in their hand. The coldness can be a strong anchor to the present. If they’re comfortable with it, they can gently splash cold water on their face. The sudden temperature change can help reorient them.

Name and describe objects.

Focusing on the details of their environment can help pull their attention away from the feelings of dissociation. Ask them to pick an object and describe it in detail, using all of their senses. This can be a useful technique to help someone if you are on the phone with them while they are dissociating. 

Focus on controlled breathing.

Deep, slow breaths can help regulate the nervous system and reduce feelings of anxiety and detachment. Guide them to inhale slowly and deeply through their nose, hold the breath for a few seconds and then exhale slowly through their mouth.

Use a grounding object.

Having a specific object to focus on can be very helpful. This could be a smooth stone they can hold, a piece of jewelry or a familiar object that has a positive association for them. Encourage them to focus on the physical sensations of holding the object. 

Repeat a soothing phrase or affirmation.

Repeating a calming phrase or affirmation can help anchor them in the present. Encourage them to repeat the phrases slowly, even out loud if possible. Spiraling thoughts can be calmed by phrases such as:

• “I am safe right now.”
• “This will pass.”
• “I am here, in this place, right now.”

Eat or drink mindfully.

Engaging the senses through taste and the physical act of eating or drinking can be grounding. Offer them a small snack or a drink, and encourage them to focus on the taste, texture and temperature of what they’re consuming. 

Do mental exercises.

Engaging their mind in a structured way can help pull them out of a dissociative state. Try asking them to count backward from 100, say the alphabet slowly or name all of the states they can think of. 

Listen to music or a podcast.

Familiar sounds can be comforting and help connect them to the present. Put on some calming music or a podcast they enjoy and encourage them to focus on the sounds.

Other ways you can help someone who is dissociating

Beyond specific grounding techniques, there are other important ways you can support someone who is dissociating. 

Stay calm and reassuring.

Your presence matters. Speak slowly, use a calm tone and validate their experience. Using phrases like “You’re safe right now,” or “I’m here with you,” can help ease fear. Avoid judgment or pressuring them to “snap out of it.”

Connect them with professional help.

If dissociation is happening often, encourage seeking professional support. Offer to help them find resources or stay with them while they call a therapist, crisis line or doctor. Professional guidance is especially important if dissociation is linked to trauma, PTSD or identity disruptions. 

Be mindful of triggers. 

If you know what tends to trigger dissociation, help them avoid or manage those situations. For example, certain sounds, smells or stressful environments may need extra care. 

Remember your own well-being.

Supporting someone through dissociation can be emotionally demanding. Don’t take it personally if they seem distant. Take breaks when needed, and seek support for yourself as well.

Experiencing or witnessing someone else dissociate can be concerning, but understanding what’s happening and having practical tools can make a significant difference. By using grounding techniques and offering a calm, supportive presence, you can help someone reconnect with the present moment. Remember that dissociation can sometimes be a sign of deeper emotional challenges, and connecting individuals with professional mental health support is crucial for long-term well-being.

Grounding is a start. Guidelight can be your partner in your journey to reclaiming your life

At Guidelight, we understand the complexities of dissociation and related conditions. Our team of compassionate professionals is dedicated to providing evidence-based care and support for individuals navigating these experiences. If you or someone you know is struggling with dissociation, we are here to help provide you with guidance and support on the path to healing and wellness.

Everyone has a seat at Guidelight. Contact our team online or call us today for more information about dissociation or to schedule an initial evaluation.