When someone in your life is going through a hard time, you often want to do whatever it takes to help them. If you have a friend who is experiencing depression, you may feel helpless as you watch them struggle with overwhelming sadness or fatigue. They may even try to withdraw or isolate themselves from you and others.
Depression is a chronic health condition. While there isn’t a simple cure and your friend doesn’t need to be “fixed,” they do deserve compassion and support. Even though depression is a very personal journey for a friend, there are ways that you can make a difference.
By having difficult conversations with your friend about their depression, you can help them take steps along their mental health journey and know when it’s time to ask for further support.
5 ways to support a friend with depression
As a friend to someone with depression, it’s not your job to “change” them or force them to receive treatment (unless they’re a threat to themselves or others). Your job is to be there to provide emotional support and make sure they know that someone is on their team.
Once you start to recognize symptoms of a depressive disorder in your friend, such as declining activities that they usually enjoy or talking in a negative way about their future, it’s time to speak up. Read on to learn five ways you can be there for your friend during a discussion about their depression.
Lead with empathy
Even if you haven’t experienced depression yourself, you can still understand how hard it must be to feel sad without a clear reason. It’s important that any discussions that you have with a friend experiencing depression have a consistently empathetic tone. It shows that you’re not only acknowledging their feelings, but that you’re validating them without judgment.
A few examples of empathetic statements include:
- “This must be really hard.”
- “I’m proud of you for opening up to me.”
- “Your feelings are real.”
Be an active listener
Sometimes, we listen with the intent to respond rather than to fully understand. That means not being truly engaged with what a person is saying, and you’re just forming your own response as they talk. But active listening is a key ingredient in having a difficult conversation with a friend who has depression.
By truly listening to how a friend with depression is feeling, you’re able to gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and provide the best emotional support. You’re also able to retain the information so that you can refer to it later when you check in on them.
Tell them what they mean to you
Depression can impact a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. It can also make them feel alone in a room full of people, including you. Even if they’re struggling with self-worth, you can let them know how happy you are to have them as a friend.
When a person is experiencing depression, knowing that someone values them can help them push through the feelings of worthlessness. You can make statements like:
- “You’re so important to me.”
- “I’m always here for you.”
- “I love you.” (Only if you truly mean it)
Avoid offering advice without being asked
When we believe that someone needs help, it’s often natural for us to think, “I can give them the help they need.” But if they’re not asking you for insight, then it may come across as dismissive or unhelpful.
They also may not be in the right mindset at the moment to accept your insight. It’s possible that they just wanted to vent as a way to alleviate some of the weight on their shoulders.
It’s OK to ask them, “I know that I’m not experiencing what you are, but do you want my advice?” That way, you’re giving them the option to accept your help, as opposed to forcing it upon them.
Gently suggest treatment
There’s a difference between giving someone unsolicited advice, like “Just find something that makes you happy!” and recommending treatment that can help them move along their mental health journey. It’s OK to ask them, “Have you thought about seeing a therapist?” or “Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings?”
Ask them if they’re open to seeking professional treatment. If they are, offer to help them find the right options, such as doing research together to find a local therapist.
If you believe that your friend is at risk to themselves or others, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Guidelight Health can help your friend with depression
If you’ve started having discussions with your friend about their depression, and it seems like they need a higher level of care beyond outpatient therapy, then Guidelight Health may be a helpful next step.
We provide an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) for a variety of depressive disorders that your friend may be experiencing, including major depressive disorder, persistent depressive disorder, and seasonal depression.
Everyone has a seat at Guidelight. Contact our team online or call us today for more information about how to help your friend with depression. If you’re helping your friend schedule an appointment so they can start getting the support they need, you can schedule an initial evaluation here.