When life gets hard, and it feels like nothing can help to relieve the all-encompassing negative thoughts and emotions that can come from distressing times, some people may turn toward destructive behaviors, like self-harm. But it’s not the answer.
Self-harming behaviors, or nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), refers to intentionally hurting yourself as a coping mechanism when you’re experiencing mental or emotional challenges. It can include using a sharp object on the skin, burning, hitting, scratching or picking. It’s prevalent across all ages, occurring in approximately 5% of the adult population and 17% of the adolescent population in the U.S.
Even though it doesn’t mean you’re having suicidal ideation, self-harm is a sign that you’re experiencing significant mental distress or condition symptoms that require action, like finding safer alternatives.
Read on to learn about seeking self-harm alternatives and potential options that you can incorporate into your lifestyle. We’ll also discuss how Guidelight Health can help to treat self-harm to move you along your mental health journey.
If you’re having a mental health crisis, or your self-harm has escalated to suicidal ideation, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
When it’s time to seek self-harming alternatives
Even though many people who use self-harm behaviors may be trying to find relief from overwhelming negative or intrusive thoughts, there are a variety of reasons why you may start self-harming, including:
- Trying to feel something, even if it’s painful, if you’re emotionally numb or empty
- Gaining a sense of control when it seems like everything else is out of your hands
- Punishing yourself for making a mistake or contributing to a distressing situation
- Having difficulty expressing your feelings through words
- Coping with trauma
If you or a loved one is experiencing these challenges, it’s important to explore alternative options.
5 self-harming alternatives to help you find relief
It’s not always easy to listen to your brain when it’s trying to say, “Don’t hurt yourself.” When you’re looking for relief during distressing times, it’s more practical to find an alternative to replace the behavior as opposed to trying to just endure the distress.
If you’re feeling the urge to self-harm or you’re trying to stop the habit, here are a few practical alternatives worth considering:
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Put it all on paper.
You’ve likely heard that writing out your feelings or keeping a journal can be helpful when you’re struggling with your mental health. Even if it isn’t something that you’ve tried in the past, it can be an effective alternative when you’re trying to stop self-harming.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can reduce the weight of the negativity that’s sitting on your mind, providing you with some sense of relief. It can also help you to gain perspective on a difficult situation and recognize potential patterns that are leading to the triggers.
If it feels like your brain is too overwhelmed with thoughts to put them into words on paper, scribbling or doodling may also be helpful. The repetitive motions can help to calm down your nervous system and release your frustration through fast, random movements.
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Spend time with your loved ones.
Being around family and friends can help to regulate your emotions and reduce stress that may be contributing to your self-harm urges. You can also gain a sense of belonging, which can help to fight against the negative thoughts you may have about yourself due to trauma or past events.
Quality time also gives you the opportunity to open up and vent to someone who cares about you. Talking to someone you trust about your mental health challenges can help you grow your support system and receive validation for your feelings when it can seem like you’re alone in your experiences.
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Listen to music.
Even though distracting yourself from negative thoughts isn’t an effective way to address mental health conditions in the long run, distractions can allow your mind to temporarily block out those thoughts and push away the urge to self-harm at that moment. When you’re trying to block out your thoughts, getting lost in your music can be helpful.
Listening to music may reduce the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in the brain and increase serotonin and dopamine (the “happy” hormones).
The type of music you listen to can help in different ways. If your self-harm comes from feeling a lack of control or overwhelming anger, it may be helpful to listen to high energy, “aggressive” music, such as heavy metal or rock, for a cathartic release. If you’re trying to soothe your negative thoughts and relax, then soft, instrumental music may be the way to go.
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Take a cold shower.
Self-harming provides physical pain, which can take your mind away from the negative thoughts and focus on the sensation. But a similar idea comes from “shocking” your system with an abrupt temperature change. Taking a cold shower, or just splashing your face with icy cold water, can shift your attention from your negative thoughts to the intense feeling from the sudden cold.
The cold water initiates your brain’s fight-or-flight response, which can help your mental clarity and alleviate a lot of the “loud” negative thoughts that are trying to take over.
It’s important to note that fully submerging your body in freezing cold water, known as cold plunges, has mixed evidence and poses potential risks. Be sure to consult with your doctor before trying it.
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Ground yourself in the moment.
It’s possible that your self-harm urges come from feeling overwhelmed by sudden negative emotions (e.g., anger or fear). These negative emotions can make you feel suddenly lost and you may think that self-harming will help bring you back to the present. Using grounding techniques can have a similar effect.
A grounding technique helps you to shift your focus away from the excessive negativity and focus on the present moment. A common technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise that allows you to engage all of your senses to focus on your physical surroundings, not your emotional distress. It involves naming:
- Five things you can see
- Four things you can touch
- Three things you can hear
- Two things you can smell
- One thing you can taste
Depending on the triggers for your self-harm, these may only be short-term solutions. If you’re seeing a therapist or psychiatrist for your mental health challenges, they will help you find the most effective alternatives for long-term mental health improvement.
Guidelight can help you find self-harm alternatives
Self-harm behaviors are often linked to mental health conditions such as depressive disorders and anxiety disorders. They may also stem from feeling angry, guilty or lonely. But no matter what causes the urge to hurt yourself, effective treatment from Guidelight can help.
At Guidelight, we can get to the root issues of your self-harm and work through the negativity that’s contributing to it. Through evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy and mindfulness, we can help you learn safer alternatives for coping with distress.
Our three levels of care can provide personalized support for your self-harm behaviors:
Through a combination of individual and group therapy, along with medication management, we can help you to take back control over your mental health and reduce self-harm behaviors.
Everyone has a seat at Guidelight. Contact our team online, or call us today for more information about overcoming self-harming behaviors or to schedule an initial evaluation. We provide treatment across the country — and we’re always expanding. See if we offer care in your state, either online or at one of our local clinics.