If your child has suddenly developed stomachaches, tears or overwhelming worry before school drop-off, know that many families have experienced this, too. School avoidance can leave both children and parents feeling overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. However, school-related anxiety is treatable, especially with a compassionate support system by your side. 

Guidelight Health provides mental health services for adults and adolescents. This guide is designed to offer clarity and reassurance, explaining why school avoidance can happen and how gentle, evidence-informed strategies can help your child feel safer and more comfortable in the classroom again. 

Understanding school avoidance

School avoidance is when a child resists going to school or has trouble staying for the entire day. This differs from truancy, where a child deliberately skips school without a valid reason or permission. This aversion is often driven by anxiety or a strong fear associated with that environment, and over time, these feelings can lead to chronic absenteeism. Common reasons for school avoidance include:

• Academic challenges
• Fear of failure or perfectionism
• Anxieties around using public restrooms
• Teachers perceived as strict or “mean”
• Peer conflicts at school
• Threats of, or actual, physical harm
• Cyberbullying on social media

Your child may also struggle with an anxiety disorder, depression, ADHD or learning differences that make school feel like an overwhelming, stressful place.

Signs of school-related anxiety

Children with school-related anxiety may show increased emotional dysregulation during the school week, with symptoms that often ease up on weekends and holidays. They also may say they’re not feeling well and describe vague or hard-to-explain physical symptoms, such as:

• Stomachaches
• Headaches
• Nausea

Although it might be helpful to keep your child home at times, routinely avoiding school may reinforce their fears or reluctance and contribute to this problem. Regularly missing school can also make it harder for your child to keep up academically, which can introduce another layer of challenges.

Strategies for parents

It’s important to remember that school avoidance isn’t a diagnosis — it’s a symptom of an underlying issue. Partnering with your child’s health care providers and education team can help you learn the reasons behind this behavior and identify personalized strategies to support their confidence and well-being at school. Here are some of the key steps you can take:

Consult your child’s pediatrician.

Physical symptoms, like stomachaches and headaches, could be caused by a number of illnesses. Meeting with your child’s pediatrician can help rule out any underlying medical issues. A health care provider can also help you explore other potential reasons why your child may be reluctant to go to school and recommend next steps.

Listen to your child.

Learn why your child doesn’t want to go to school. An empathetic, supportive conversation can help you understand what’s causing discomfort. This can also be a good time to validate their feelings, encourage ongoing communication, and reassure them that there are strategies and support systems available to help make school feel more manageable.

Explain why school attendance matters.

While talking with your child, emphasize why attending school is important. You can even try highlighting some of the benefits beyond academics, like opportunities to build friendships, join clubs, learn new skills and feel more connected to their community. Exploring these and other positive aspects may also help you identify potential challenges or stressors. 

Reach out to your child’s school.

Building a strong support system at your child’s school can make a difference in their experience. By sharing your child’s perspective, symptoms and concerns with their teacher, principal, nurse or counselor, you’re giving them the insight they need to provide meaningful support. It may even help bring some peace of mind to your child. The school’s educational team may also be able to recommend helpful strategies you can use at home.

Talk to a mental health provider.

A mental health provider can offer valuable insight and support for children experiencing school-related anxiety. They can determine if an underlying mental health condition could be contributing to your child’s behavior and work with your child to develop practical strategies that may help support their mental and emotional well-being.

Reinforce your child’s progress at home.

Collaborating with your child, their school and their health care providers is a good start, but it’s equally as essential to discuss and practice these strategies at home. You can help your child strengthen the coping skills they’ve learned in therapy, establish consistent daily routines and offer gentle guidance when challenges arise. Celebrating small wins along the way can also help them build more confidence.

Talk to Guidelight about school avoidance

Guidelight assists families with adolescents (ages 12 to 17) who are struggling with school avoidance and other concerns. Our mental health professionals use personalized, evidence-based approaches to support your child’s well-being. Also, each client has a dedicated care team that may include education facilitators who coordinate closely between their school and Guidelight and help students stay on track with their schoolwork during treatment. 

Everyone has a seat at Guidelight. Find yours by contacting our team today for more information or to schedule an initial evaluation to address school avoidance. We provide treatment across the country — and we’re always expanding. See if we offer care in your state, either online or at one of our local clinics.